Can we “know God” through “unknowing”? Through what is called apophatic prayer? Many people over the centuries have attested to this way of “knowing.” It sounds paradoxical, and of course it is. Isn’t all real truth? For example, we affirm that Jesus was (and is) both fully God and fully human, a paradoxical belief if there ever was one!
The “negative theology” of unknowing is fully expressed, or so claims Dionysius the Aeropagite, “only when the mind relinquishes all its intellectual preoccupations and enters into agnosia, the experience of ‘knowing though unknowing,’” * That is, through apophatic prayer. This mode of prayer has adherents among such faith giants as the anonymous (how fitting is that!) 14th Century author of The Cloud of Unknowing as well as practitioners from Medieval times up to the present moment.
And now, as my husband says, “I’ve told you all I know.” And yet, I keep trying to think and talk about it! So please bear with me.
The prayer of unknowing has come late in life to me. I love to “know” and sense the presence of God, those God-moments, those “ahas,” opening up whole new worlds. But in the last few years, and especially during the past few months of staying mostly at home during the COVID-19 pandemic, I’ve come to especially treasure the simplicity of quiet, wordless, “sitting” prayer. I variously use a Centering Prayer mode, or a mindful gazing out a window or up into leafless tree branches—a wonderful metaphor for the “wintertime” feel of unknowing prayer.
There isn’t room in this blog—or experience under my belt!—to do more than hint at the blessings of this paradoxical form of prayer, but if you’re reading this soon after it’s posted, you’re invited to join an exploration on Zoom of “Listening to God,” which will center on “unknowing” prayer. Contact [email protected] for more information or to register. (Must register by 02/19/21; the online program is from 10 AM to 12 noon CST on 02/20/21.)
If you don’t want to go that far, or if you’re reading this later, just try sitting somewhere you can be undisturbed for a few minutes; tell God “I’m here just to be with You”; ask for God’s help releasing thoughts, but not forcing them away; and just be still and be in the present. The practice takes discipline, but countless people attest that it’s well worth it. Good luck and may you “unknow” in peace.
